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What will you do if all it took to make a difference in your life is you? That’s a question worth considering because the answer can change your life forever. I have heard many successful people comment about betting on themselves and making sure that the highest stakes rested on their shoulders. They went out of their way to ensure that no one but themselves was going to dictate the outcome of their lives. Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Sean Carter (Jay-Z), Beyoncé, Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, Tesla’s Elon Musk, Barack Obama and other titans of arts, entertainment, business and industry, have all subscribed to a version of this concept—betting on yourself. The more I look closely, the clearer I see that there’s no other way to approach success because whether you excel in life or not is not the responsibility of another but yourself.
There are people who are born into riches but die poor and those that rise from poverty into great excellence, success and wealth.
Let that sink in.
Will you step up for yourself?
In our world today, we see the gap between the wealthy and the poor widen every single day. Almost always, the wealthy are blamed for this phenomenon, and “why not?” someone may question. You’d hardly meet anyone who happens to be poor lift up their hands and say “I am the problem”, no! It’s always the other person or company or teacher or parents or someone else who may be in a place of authority or power or wealth. We have become a full-fledged “third-person world” where we look at the person the finger is pointing rather than the one pointing the finger. “No one cares about me” you will hear. But …
If no one cares about you, what about you? Are you not someone?
Do you not care about yourself or how your life turns out?
If you care so much, what are you doing for you?
Are you going to join those pointing the finger at others or you will seize the opportunity of life and do something with it?
Will you take the responsibility of your life off others and put it on your own shoulders? Are you going to carry your own weight?
Will you look to yourself first instead of others?
How far are you willing to go for yourself?
Will you hold yourself accountable for you?
Are you going to bet on yourself?
It’s your life, this is serious!
I would normally go easy for my introduction and ease you in with soft and smooth transitions to the point-by-point layout I have planned, but I am sure you agree you needed that. You need to think about your life as your responsibility. The wealthy may control the game to some degree, but they sure cannot control how you play. This is life and the outcomes of it cannot be completely dictated by any government or corporation. You may not have started with much going for you but you can definitely do something about that. I refuse to believe you are totally helpless, and you should not believe that neither.
Considering all things, you may not have made the right choices up to this point but you definitely have a few more choices to make that can turn your life around for the best. It may not be simple but you can do it. Point is, it’s your life and doing whatever you can to make it worthwhile is serious business. God, the creator of the universe, gave you that life because he trusted you to make it count. Don’t quit before you even started!
Let’s see what betting on yourself means
I am going to share a few pointers I have learned and keep applying to my life. Setting out on this path will turn your life around. Though, I must encourage you right from the scratch that if you are not on this path already, progress may be slow at first; but don’t quit, keep going point after point and apply yourself daily. Take it easy on yourself when you fall short, and be persistent. Eventually, you will see the difference the little efforts you put in everyday will make in your life. You’ll be glad you read this to the end and applied yourself to the suggestions below.
1. Have a vision
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody talks about having a vision. You’ve heard it over and over and are tired of hearing it. Perhaps, you even tried to craft a vision for your life and did not see any fruit. You are probably thinking of skipping already. Hold it right there! I’m not about to preach another sermon to you about how having a vision is important and why you need to see through your mind’s eye. Nope, not here. I already covered that so you can check it out when possible. It will be very helpful. For now, it’s all about application and no, it’s not a class on how to create a vision. This is the simplified and ready-to-go version.
Having a vision can be as simple as deciding what you want for your life in a much broader sense. I, for one, started by simply admitting to myself that I wanted more for myself and to be better (very broad). Before that, I had stretched myself so thin in an attempt to please others—didn’t even realize it! I was so tired and eventually crashed. At that point, I understood I had to reset. I didn’t waste time blaming others though I did that for a while, true to human nature. I moved on with my desire to be better.
Look into the mirror of your life
With this vision, I had to look in the mirror and see what I was. Honesty is key. There was no sugar-coating. I was genuinely concerned for the trajectory of my life and I knew that some changes were necessary if I wanted more. When you look in the mirror and see the ugliness, don’t turn away—face it! You need to square with yourself for better or worse. Don’t hold any punches back. This is your life we are talking about. Every detail, no matter how small, counts and you must ensure that. Yes, it may not be pleasant. Who cares about pleasant when your life is on the line? It is necessary!
You need to look in the mirror and square with yourself. I mean look deep, long and close. Figure out where you are, have been and want to be. Yes, the key is discovering what you want. No need to worry about “the how” at this point, you’ll only complicate matters. Just find out what you want!
What do you want?
In my experience, what we want is normally born out of our current circumstances. A poor person would want to be rich. A rich person would want to be richer. A wealthy person would want to maintain the wealth or give more. Single persons may want to get married and married couples may want to see their marriage thrive. An athlete may want to train more towards excellence and a salesperson may want more customers. We all want different things because our circumstances are different and you must figure that out. Uncover what you want! Don’t just settle on being happy. Happiness can be very abstract when it’s not tied down. What do I mean? Don’t just say I want to be happy and end there. You can start there but conclude with “the what” that will make you happy and round it off with “the why”.
This exercise could take a while to complete but don’t skip it. Remember, your life depends on it. I have rightly placed it as the first point because it is the most important. Without a vision, you will perish. Your life will be wasted and we don’t want that!
2. Make a plan
This is the natural step 2, planning. This is the time to figure out “the how”. Once you’ve figured out what you want and why you want it, you have to move on to focus on how to get it done. I’m talking about research. Every good business develops a vision and finds “the how” to achieve that vision as well. Right now, you—your life—is the business we are discussing and you need to make a plan with “hows” that will further consolidate your vision and strengthen your resolve. To figure out the options out there, you need to investigate. Ask yourself questions and inquire from others who have excelled from a similar position how they did it. Remember, it’s not about copying blindly, but rather having enough information to develop a plan for yourself. Forge a formidable plan that uniquely suits you.
Don’t underestimate the power of research
If you are single and want to get married, you obviously have to mingle. However, you can’t just jump out there and expect to be noticed or give off the right impression to prospects. You are searching for someone and someone else is searching, hopefully, for you. There is a method to this path and you have to know it to develop it. So, how do you get the resources you need to be on top of your game? The answer is research. The best methods are derived from research and refined through practice. However, there is no refinement without “the derivation”. You can only refine something you have.
Research will help you to create a plan that stands a chance of getting you to your desire. Many people refuse to do this because, you are probably thinking it, “it’s a waste of time”. “Who needs research when you can wing it, huh?” You see, the best companies today achieve the best results and lead their market sectors because of research—extensive ones. Also, research is the key to innovation of any kind. So, like a company, if you want to reach your desire (vision), then it is important to arm yourself with the necessary information. Research is not optional to making a good plan. Once you have designed a sound plan for your vision, you can move on to execution.
3. Commit time, energy & money to your vision
This is where I recount the story of Rebel Melanie Elizabeth Wilson as a testament to the point above. Just in case you haven’t heard the name before, Rebel Wilson is a famous Australian actress known for her role in the movie “Pitch Perfect”, and the story goes like this. Rebel really wanted to have kids so she went to speak to her doctor and realized it was important she lost some weight. Yes, she was peeved at first but eventually, she decided it was necessary to get what she wanted. She had a vision and had just figured out her method after consulting with her doctor (research). So, she set out to do just that.
Spotlight on Rebel Wilson
Over a period of 18 months, she committed her energy, time and money. How? Let’s break it down for clarity. Within the aforementioned duration, she changed her diet and exercised regularly. A diet change would mean a change in expenditure (money is committed) while regular exercises requires time and energy. Now, if you have ever tried to lose weight, you probably know it’s a slow, tiring and sometimes painful process that can get you irritated most times. Like I said earlier when I encouraged you, getting what you want demands that you don’t quit when progress is not apparent.
Little drops of water … Make the mighty ocean
Julia Carney, 1845
Persistence pays
Rebel, despite her annoyance at the slow progress, did not quit. She still wanted to get into good shape. So, she persevered in committing her time, money and energy daily. After approximately 540 days (yeah, that long), she woke up from bed and realized she’d gotten rid of 35 kilograms (almost 80 pounds) of weight. She looks healthier and I’ll bet her doctor is very impressed. Don’t ever believe there’s a shortcut to any lasting change because there isn’t. Of course, you can commit twice as much time, energy and money to speed up progress. However, you’d still have to go through the process—there’s no cutting corners. If you commit your resources towards your vision, you will get what you want. You know who else knows this? Adele! Now, you know this too. Are you going to commit your resources for your vision?
4. Protect number one
It amazes me the way people who treat themselves with respect and are actually confident in themselves are considered arrogant. It totally blows my mind! Let me ask this. If you don’t respect yourself, how would you want others to take you seriously? If you are not confident in yourself and what you want, how are you going to get others to buy into you? It is absolutely important for you to put yourself first for you. Treat yourself with respect by being honest and truthful to yourself. Again, why would you want to lie to yourself or deceive yourself into any kind of falsehood? There is no point to that. There’s no reason to look down on yourself when you are at the starting point. Focus and concentrate on you and your process and keep completing the little daily goals that will translate into progress for you.
When you set out to get what you want, it is inevitable to meet distractions along the way. When you do, knowing and understanding that you have to take care of you and what you want first, is very crucial. You cannot abandon your path to become number two or three on someone else’s. Yes, occasionally, paths cross and intersections are created. But, these same paths should diverge (and then run parallel, if necessary). Remember that whenever there is a merger, someone gives up their path for another to take over. Your path is important to you and you should always prioritize you and the journey you’re on. Let everything else be a distraction. Even better, make your distractions useful and let them serve numero uno—you.
5. Make the sacrifices
Oh, how I wish this point would sink in deep. A good number of people are able to do number one through to four for a while but falter on five. What do I mean by this? I will explain.
Developing a vision is difficult because it requires self-assessment and introspection that many are unwilling to do as the truth is often hard to swallow. Nonetheless, it usually gets done. Following this, a good number of people still go on to craft a plan and commit resources (time, energy and money) to execute it, all the while protecting numero uno. However, many fall off when they begin to see that moving towards their vision means moving away from other things. As this is you versus you, it can be very brutal. You have to decide what you want more and it’s not easy sometimes. This gets much harder for people who are more sentimental.
No pain, no gain
The painful reality is that you cannot get what you want without letting some things in your life fall away. Sometimes, you may have to consciously pick and throw them away regardless of how hard it is for you to do so. You have to give your vision the priority it deserves to generate the focus required to reach it. You may have to give up a certain amount of sleep you are used to or spend your money in a different way. To achieve your vision, developing new habits is more-or-less a pre-requisite. This implies some old habits have to go!
The personal costs rack up and may become compounded when “friends” begin to leave because you are not able to spend much time with them. Lifestyle changes can be difficult when necessary, but you’ve got to make the sacrifices if you want to attain your desires. Failure to overcome the pain of doing so would deprive you of what you want. The obvious solution is to go through that pain. Always remember, you will only be “going through” the pains, it won’t be forever. Moreover, it’s you and your deepest desire that’s at stake. So, make the sacrifices—very important when you’ve put your best bet on yourself!
6. Power through obstacles
How many times have you started something you ended up not finishing because it got tougher and tougher as you went along? Once? Twice? Several times? What’s your number? If you have a number or that number is more than one, then you know that nothing good and lasting comes easy. When I decided I wanted better, it took me two years to see significant personal progress and two more years to setup this website to support others. The first two years, however, were the toughest. I would fail at simple objectives and feel so terrible sometimes. Over time, I understood that it was never about the obstacles but the persistence at getting back to meet my targets.
When you meet those walls on the way to your dream or desire, don’t turn around! Run straight and hard into them and some of them would fall that way. If they don’t tumble, get yourself some rope or ladder and climb over them. If that doesn’t work, get a pair of climbing shoes and start your climb. There is always going to be a solution to help you overcome your challenges. It’s not going to be straightforward every time but make sure at the end of the encounter, you are the unstoppable one!
Celebrate the little victories
The little milestones are the fuel stations we need on our journey. When you bet on yourself, you can be very isolated. You may be that one-of-kind person and support may be limited. Regardless, when you persist, you will always have little victories. Celebrate those victories because they will give you the energy to keep going.
If you are trying to lose weight, celebrate the fact that you even started in the first place. Celebrate every day you are able to complete your routine. Celebrate every little kilogram you lose because, like I always reaffirm, Rome was not built in a day. Every victory, no matter how small, counts! Don’t wait till you have lost 10 kilos before you celebrate. Heck, you may not get to minus 10 kilos if you don’t celebrate minus 500 grams.
You need the motivation from making the little milestones to get you to the big ones. Of course, the little milestones may not mean much to others but it means a lot to you. You are the one working hard and making the sacrifices. You know what it took to start or make that small progress. So, own that victory, buy yourself a thank you gift and celebrate your progress!
7. Reach your goals with integrity
You can bend the rules but don't break them
As you pursue your vision, you will realize that you will have to make a lot of personal changes to your attitude and behavior that will reshape your character—the very core of who you are. In many ways, that will be the true victory of betting on yourself. You do not only reach your vision, but you are remolded through time.
If you abandon integrity while you proceed, you will most likely get what you want but it won’t satisfy you. That which was meant to be a blessing, would become a curse and taste bitter in your mouth. On the contrary, if you approach your vision with a righteous attitude, you will find you attain your goals with grace and everything else falls into place. This is why I find this point absolutely undroppable though it comes in at 7. This is not like one through six because it’s a guiding light rather than an action point. No matter what you do or obstacles you face, make sure you are always on the right side of the equation!
I could go on and on about this but I am pretty sure you get the the idea so I will leave it at that and wish you well on your journey. May you be successful as you bet on yourself to achieve what may initially look impossible. As always, don’t forget to enjoy life to the fullest—you owe that to you!