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Hypocrisy is a word which may sound archaic or even irrelevant today, but the truth couldn’t be any farther. A hypocrite is what actors used to be called and today is synonymous to pretender, imposter, fraud, phoney. Do any of these words ring a bell? I hope at least one of them did. Hypocrisy is a defect that can creep in very subtly, and thus go undetected for a long time. When I ponder our world today, I see it in so many ways. Prominent among them is the application of double standards.
it’s very easy to spot a speck of dust in another’s eye, but much more difficult to remove the plank in one’s own eye
The thing is, pointing out hypocrisy in others can be very natural. Like a famous Rabbi once implied: it’s very easy to spot a speck of dust in another’s eye, but much more difficult to remove the plank in one’s own eye. We can quickly identify when someone else is pretending, even with very little information. Dissecting another person’s persona and testing their honesty can come swiftly to us. However, It gets much more complicated when we have to use the same test on ourselves. We immediately become prey to the beast of double standards which lurks around waiting for a target to devour. In other words, we become hypocrites!
Honesty, on the other hand, is a concept that exists in every culture though its implications may vary from place to place. This is true in the Ghanaian context and I am very convinced it’s no different in yours. That notwithstanding, the fundamental element of honesty remains the same—truth, the complete absence of lies. Self-honesty brings the concept of honesty to a personal level and describes the absence of hypocrisy within an individual’s nature. That’s, self-honesty portrays the lack of self-deception or delusion in a person. Primarily, self-honesty ensures that you’re being truthful to yourself with regards to your character, beliefs and desires—especially your desires. It offers you the opportunity to choose better for yourself, knowing exactly who you are, what you want and where you stand.
self-honesty portrays the lack of self-deception or delusion in a person
You see, hypocritical living can take its toll on our lives in many ways. A typical example is when a person’s world comes undone because he realized later in life that he never wanted any of it in the first place. There are many stories of people who wasted many years in one profession, only to later realize they would have been better off at another, after carefully scrutinizing their desires. Obviously, such people could have used an early self-honesty check-up to avoid that situation.
These days, it is common to see many people waste money in buying things they don’t need while others go to places they have no business. The latter end up in circumstances they could have totally prevented while the former inconsolably rue their decision. In truth, mistakes are unavoidable in life; however, not all of them are so. As errors are consequences of decisions, it is within reason to insist that having a good sense of who you are and being sincere about what you want can help you steer clear of many unnecessary mistakes.
having a good sense of who you are and being sincere about what you want can help you steer clear of many unnecessary mistakes
With that said, let me continue by stressing that self-honesty is most relevant in deciding what you want. What we tend to want in our lives is a product of our desires. Desire, which the Oxford dictionary defines as a strong feeling of wanting to have something, is very powerful and it so happens to be one of the commonest features of mankind. In essence, desires are divine in a way that a newly born baby has it. Nonetheless, they can be perverted as well.
As we grow up, we quickly learn that we are in constant contention with ourselves about what we truly want versus all the other conflicting interests. Oftentimes, it becomes very difficult to give our true desires a path to travel through and we end up living hypocritical lives. We become strangers in our own bodies and pretenders at everything. In the end, we turn out unfulfilled and lacking.
Following your desires can lead you into realizing your purpose in life
One of the reasons why I believe we need to be true to our desires is that they are acutely tied to our purpose in life. Yes! Following your desires can lead you towards realizing your purpose in life, and the quickest way to your true desires is to practice self-honesty, be completely honest with yourself. This may sound very complicated but I have come to understand that being sincere with myself is as simple as asking myself why I want something, and then determining if the reason is enough to pursue it.
Figuring out why you want to do, say or have something can be a very straightforward way to decide if it’s important to follow through or not. Many times when I have taken a pause to consider my desires and asked why, I have been able to derive purpose and motivation whenever my conclusion allows me to proceed with my desire. Suffice to say that sometimes I just end up keeping my mouth shut, not doing or not buying something. In those moments, it feels like a disadvantage. However, when I look back after a while, I realize it was the right call.
You see, many husbands can save themselves a lot of trouble in their marriages if they would only take a pause to ponder their desires. Ask yourself, why do I want to say this to my wife? Should I prove my point or just apologize? Knowing the purpose of a thing helps to utilize it appropriately. That is definitely true of desires too. Understanding why you’re feeling like saying or doing something is as important as saying, doing, not saying or not doing that thing. In case you’re wondering, this also applies to wives!
Knowing the purpose of a thing helps to utilize it appropriately
Dr. Myles Munroe
Self-honesty is important for any business man or woman. The same goes for every other professional. You cannot just do anything for the sake of it—a fact of life I presume we all understand very well. It is always beneficial to first discern your desires and decide whether or not to carry it out.
It is crucial to understand that desires are not the same as a sixth sense. Most of the time, an initial desire to do something can be forgone for a more favorable one if we take the time to discern them. For example, you know you don’t need a pair of shoes. But then, you enter a shop and realize you develop the desire to buy a pair. In that moment, taking a pause to be real with yourself will bring you to a conclusion of don’t buy it. This will happen because you’ll be able to discern that buying those shoes, in the long run, is not what you really want. You’ll be mentally reinforced with reasons for that decision and be motivated to turn away. On the other hand, pretending that those shoes are what you want, perhaps because of the color or design or seeing someone else wearing it, even when you know it’s not, will lead you to buy it and regret that decision later.
Most of the time, an initial desire to do something can be forgone for a more favorable one if we take the time to discern them.
Failure to discern why we want what we want can lead to catastrophe. It is therefore of the utmost importance to ensure that we don’t approach our desires with a hypocritical attitude. I trust that after reading this you will make a decision to practice self-honesty—at least with your desires—as this will enrich your life by improving your decision-making and help you enjoy life to its fullest!