New year, new me is the mantra a lot of people have become accustomed to as a first attempt to self-actualization in any new year. Some people may have found this mantra meaningful and even life-changing; but my guess is most people don’t. If you’re like me, I am sure you’re tired of a 9-day wonder streak with your goals in any new year, and for once would want some real solutions to help you reach your destination this year. This is even more essential because we’re all hoping to change course or find better lanes this year given the shamble the previous one may have been.
Each time we are faced with a new year, whether as an individual or a company, we tend to set targets that we want to reach by the end of the year. These resolutions we make are supposed to drive us and/or encourage us to overcome the internal or external limitations that will keep us from our goals. More often than not, we fail a few days into our resolutions for the year and this is not entirely because the resolutions by themselves are bad nor is it because the person setting them is weak. Usually, the simple reason is that our approach towards resolutions are wrong!
Point is, everybody wants to be better and more valuable tomorrow than they are today, and it all starts with a resolution.
You see, a resolution is essentially a decision that requires you to follow through. The force that drives a resolution is all intrinsic—the individual who makes the resolution has to make the effort to complete the set task. The goals we set are variable: some want to have regular exercises to burn off excess fat while others decide to make a complete switch to vegetarian diets. You may want to challenge yourself with a new hobby or finally go out there to mingle so you can find the love of your life. Yet still, being busy in your life, you may want to create more space to accommodate your wife or children. Others may want to change jobs, start a new business or increase their network. There are those that set more spiritual goals like reading the whole bible or starting a daily quiet time or praying regularly. Point is, everybody wants to be better and more valuable tomorrow than they are today, and it all starts with a resolution.
For the most part, decision and action go hand-in-hand, and generally follow each other; but I want to suggest a few things you can do that will actually help you make smart resolutions and see them through. These pointers have been helpful to me and I hope they help you too.
Usually, it is easier to tell when we’re being lied to by someone else than to detect when we are lying to ourselves
1. Be honest with yourself and your desires.
This is where every resolution has to start from: honesty. A quick search on google will tell you that honesty means “free of deceit or untruthfulness”. With this definition, I want you to look closely at yourself and reflect on your desires. Conducting a self-test with honesty is important for many reasons. The first and most important reason is to snap you out of self-deception. Usually, it is easier to tell when we’re being lied to by someone else than to detect when we are lying to ourselves. The reason for this is quite simple: we don’t scrutinize ourselves like we do others. However, to achieve your resolution or better still to make smart ones, you need to really dig deep and decide on who you are and what you want. The easiest way I have found to do this is to ask myself why. Why you are the way you are or want what you want can tell you a lot.
You see, when you spend time to interview yourself about your goals, it opens your eyes to the true motive behind why you want to achieve that goal. If you are pleased, it adds value and morale but if not, it’s easy to discard it and focus on others. Most times, when we are not honest with ourselves about why we want something, we end up deceiving ourselves about it and the end result is always unfulfilling.
Don’t jump into a decision simply because everyone else is doing it or someone else is imposing it on you. Find an honest basis for your resolution and the reason will help to increase your drive. I will share more about self-honesty in another post to give you more ideas on how to do a good self-scrutiny and other reasons why it is important. Let’s move to the next point.
2. Set your goals.
If you can be honest with yourself about your desires, this second part on setting the goals gets easier. What you have to consider here is that you have to be intentional. Honesty will give you a good start in finding the true purpose behind your desires and provide the needed motivation to set appropriate goals. Setting goals is a topic you can find a lot of material on how to do it effectively. The gist is this: you must accurately and insightfully define your goal. Most people will just check their weight and immediately assume the only thing to do is lose weight by exercise. Such people can easily forget about their late-night eating habits. You see, while exercising is good, and seems like the obvious solution, understanding why people gain weight and getting additional insight about weight-gain may help you tailor your goals more accurately to fit you. When it comes to a resolution, it’s always good to define what you want, why you want it and how you are going to achieve it. Always remember that quality in this matter should override quantity. Few accurate and insightfully defined goals will be easier to reach than many impulsive ones. A single resolution can be life-changing so don’t make it just for the fun of it—be intentional!
When it comes to a resolution, it’s always good to define what you want, why you want it and how you are going to achieve it.
3. Make plans to help you achieve your goals.
The difference between an honest resolution and its success is a good path. Usually, when we think of a plan, we imagine a rigid, well-organized structure of activities that will help us reach our goals. In fact, dictionaries don’t tell it any different. May I introduce you to the concept of fluidity? Fluidity is “the ability of a substance to flow easily”. Think of it this way. When you set an honest goal like learning to play an instrument, you don’t want to break your back doing it right? After all, it’s just a hobby. Ok, what about starting a business you are passionate about? Would you want to spend all your time on robust plans that will take away all the fun? Certainly not! The solution is to be fluid like a river.
be fluid
Rivers generally start from high mountains or hills and flow into the seas. Along the path, they meet obstacles but find ways to go around them or drag them along. Sometimes they meet other streams of water that flow into them and increase their flow force. It’s not always rosy or light or motivated to get to its destination from source; but naturally, it always gets to its destination. What I’m I saying? I want you to be like a river. Going through your resolution should not be a sprint but a marathon—be fluid. Feel free to adjust your mini targets when you hit obstacles. Don’t be disappointed with yourself when you miss some days for exercise or meet days when you can’t practice on the instrument. Don’t worry about days when you have to delegate your responsibilities in your business or be stretched to cover more shifts. Rather, use your experiences to optimize your schedules and/or activities. Life is like a river, full of turnings and windings, and we must learn to flow right alongside it. Once you start on this path, you’ll always be encouraged by how far you’ve come and not be discouraged by how much you have left to cover because the goal is the destination and not the path. Take one day at a time and face challenges squarely. Don’t be hesitant to readjust your course to a better one and be open to new streams of ideas that will help you reach your destination. In essence, be like a river, make fluid plans!
Life is like a river, full of turnings and windings, and we must learn to flow right alongside it
4. Pray over your plans ceaselessly.
Prayer is one point I cannot overemphasize its importance. In the previous point, I mentioned the concept of fluidity. I will try to expand on this concept later to give you more examples and applications in planning. Here, I will show you how prayer can make you more fluid. A key aspect of fluidity is flexibility; however, it will be reckless to always bend around obstacles when you have to go through them or drag them along. Knowing the time and place to bend around, charge through or drag along obstacles is very critical. This is where prayer comes in handy.
God is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient—nothing escapes his gaze
Man has a spiritual link to God that makes it easier to navigate life. This link is nourished through prayer. When we pray, we are not only talking to God and presenting our problems, but also, we are listening to God for solutions. I have found that whenever I go to God in prayer, even in the most silent places of my heart, and present a problem or question to him, he always answers. Well, that is if I wait to hear his answer. As you may know, God is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient—nothing escapes his gaze. What better adviser to have on your side than him? It is therefore fair to insist that if you want to achieve any kind of fulfillment this year, you cannot do it without maintaining a constant connection to God through prayer. Check out other benefits of prayer here.
5. Trust God always.
I will make this very brief by asking this question. If you know that prayer is important, would you risk not following the advice of God when he offers it? Absolutely not! Sometimes, God can suggest some difficult moves for us to make in order to see our targets or overcome certain challenges we may face along the way. It is our responsibility to trust his counsel and do accordingly. Always watch out for new instructions when following God’s counsel. You can get more on this point here.
I hope these pointers will serve you well as they have me and help you to live life to its fullest this year!
Well written!! Absolutely trusting God is key.
Amen!