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“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.“
John 8:32 (NIV)
I saw this quote: “You’ll keep meeting the same person in different bodies until you learn the lesson” and it became a thought trigger that eventually led me into writing this post. The break down is quite simple, and it’s this. Humans are social creatures and we thrive on good relationships because they help us live more fully, learn quickly from mistakes and grow from the lessons we derive. So, every relationship provides us with these three elements that in turn enable us to evaluate the value of our relationships. We keep useful ones that help us grow and avoid the opposite. From this, it follows that if we find ourselves in a loop of unpleasant relationships, then it is because of our inability to recognize exactly what’s going on and pick up the lessons that will free us from them.
This may seem far-fetched at first but once you wrap your head around it, you’ll immediately begin to realize how true it actually is. Consider the fact that many people end up with the same type of person (or even same person) they broke up with a while ago. What about how someone divorces their partner only to get married to a new partner with the same demeanor as the previous one, and then go on to get another divorce. It can be a vicious cycle and will continue until there is a realization that leads to learning and maturity.
It does not end there
I would have been happy to tell you that this phenomenon ends with marriage or dating relationships. But unfortunately, it does not. It literally affects more interactions than I can list as relationships are very natural for us humans and we have them everywhere. We have relationships with friends in the neighborhood, classmates at school and colleagues at work. We have relationships with our bosses, leaders, celebrities, and it goes on and on. We keep all these relationships because ultimately they help us to know how we fit into the broader social structure. So, what happens when a relationship fails?
Are we going to give ourselves time to be objective, realize and heed the potential lesson (or lessons) hidden within the failure or are we are going to stay emotional and play the blame game till time runs out? Obviously, the former makes more sense and provides a path to wisdom and maturity. You’ll be better for it too because every lesson learned helps you make better decisions, and every good decision propels you towards success in the area of your growth!