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So, what happened?
For my readers who have still not heard, seen or read what recently transpired at the 94th Academy Awards (Oscars 2022) between attendee, Will Smith, and presenter, Chris Rock, this is a summary to get you in the know. In the course of hosting the event, Chris Rock did what he does best, tell jokes and make his audience laugh. By so doing, he got a bit under the Smiths’ skin and what followed was a slap and a dropping of F-bombs by Will Smith.
So, what was the joke about? Jada Pinkett Smith was sporting a cool low-cut hair style and she looked cute as usual. Unfortunately, it seems she’d have preferred a different hairstyle but for her alopecia, an autoimmune disease that causes hair loss, she couldn’t. Chris didn’t know about that (apparently) and made a “G.I. Jane 2” joke. After initially laughing at the joke, Will got up from his seat, approached Chris on stage and gave him a dirty slap. Right after that, he dropped the F-bombs. Lupita‘s facial expression following that was just priceless (she was seated right next to the Smiths). Chris, for his part, carried on like nothing happened after a funny remark (watch it here).
The internet has gone crazy after this event and, quite frankly, the slap has overshadowed Will’s “best actor” award. His self-protecting speech didn’t help his case as he ignored apologizing to Chris Rock in the aftermath. I must add that, since then, Will has publicly apologized to Chris for his actions (full statement here). You have probably looked at the footage and have come to some conclusion about what happened, all things considered. Myself, after careful thought, I’ve picked up a few lessons and I’m happy to share them with you (in no specific order).
1) Maturity is not the absence of weakness
Will is considered the “friendliest” man in Hollywood. He is a highly rated actor and hardly puts a foot wrong. Even after Jada’s shenanigans in the Smith household, he’s done well to keep his marriage “intact” and his family together. It’s obvious Will Smith has been through a lot and appears to be going through a lot still. To be able to thrive in the midst of adversity, it takes a lot of inner strength and maturity.
Nonetheless, maturity is not the absence of weakness, and herein lies the lesson. Always acknowledge your vulnerability, irrespective of your situation, present company or status. Constant awareness of what triggers you to be a “lesser person” is important. Especially, when you’re barely holding it together or when at the top. You know what follows a rise-to-the-top story? The story of the fall. More people want to see you fail than they’d admit to seeing you succeed.
So, let this sink in. Maturity is not the absence of weaknesses, but the constant awareness of them. It seems to me that Will was triggered between Jada’s disappointed look and the slap. If he were aware of his vulnerability in that moment, he would have definitely thought twice before doing that to Chris. His immature response put a stain on what was supposed to be an absolutely joyous night.
2) Violence is not strength
This point seems to be what’s going around after the incident. Will’s actions have been widely condemned as inappropriate and many have called for some form of “punishment”. Others, like Tiffany Haddish, have spoken of admiration for Will’s actions. Whether you feel one way or the other, what’s to know here is this. Violence is never the answer, solution or display of strength. If anything, violence is a show of weakness. Will’s apology says enough about that.
I will reiterate a quote I saw somewhere. I’m not sure where. It goes something like this. Before you speak, listen and before your act, think. Listening well or thinking through your response will always give you enough time to figure out the right course of action. We should heed this advice because once you act, there’s no going back. In a different scenario, Will would have been facing assault charges. Thankfully, Chris didn’t press for them.
3) Everybody breaks
Just as water has a boiling point, humans have a breaking point. We all have that threshold beyond which it becomes difficult to stay calm. When friends, family, random people, enemies, haters and circumstances keep coming for you, it’s inevitable that at some point, it becomes too much to contain. Those who keep piling it up within till it becomes unbearable explode eventually. Usually, at unexpected times.
Some have argued Chris received a slap for which he didn’t exactly deserve. They’ve implied Will must have been going through enough by himself and just exploded. Chris was the “innocent” bystander who became the victim of a release. Really, could Will’s anger be towards those who have been talking all sorts of ways about his family in public spaces and media? Was Chris a rep for all those individuals? Frankly, I don’t know.
What I am sure of is that we all need support. No matter how strong you are for your family or for yourself, you’ll always need a support system. We all need safe spaces to release internal pressure to enable us keep calm. Will obviously does need that and we all do need our own outlets or “shrink”. The last thing you want to do is slap “Chris”. You may not get away with it like Will did.
4) Listen to good advice, act accordingly
Denzel Washington is every man’s man. He’s the one you go to for quality advice if you want to succeed in the industry or even life in general. Fortunately, for Will, Denzel offered him free advice before the event. What did Denzel say? “Be careful, the devil comes for you at your highest moments” (or something like that). Will had the temerity to repeat Denzel’s advice after he did not heed it. I’m sure he understood it. What I’m not sure is why he used it at the acceptance speech rather than before “the slap”—when it mattered more.
Denzel dropped some cool wisdom for Will. Though Will couldn’t connect with it in his moment of desperation, I pray you do because it’s a really good and helpful advice. In hindsight, I’m sure will agrees completely. Also, don’t forget to heed advice. Especially, the timely ones. They will save you so much headache!
5) A simple apology can be worth a thousand words
I really like Will Smith. Since “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air“, he’s been my guy and I’ve stayed with him through “M.I.B”, “Concussion” and even ” “Gemini Man”. Oscars 2022 was Will’s night. Denzel expected it and I was just waiting. It was a joyous moment to hear his name mentioned as the winner of the “best actor” award for performance in “King Richard“. I didn’t see anyone in the audience who wasn’t happy for him. I’m sure Chris was happy too (just saying). All that was left for Will to do was address the huge elephant in the room.
Long story short, he didn’t. He gave the longest cringiest speech of the Oscars and made a bad moment, worse. A simple apology for bad behaviour towards Chris would have gone a long way. Instead, he went on and on about this or that in so many words. Oh, he even cried. However, he did not apologize to Chris. He said a thousand words with tears but missed a simple apology that would have brought more joy.
6) Never let ego lead the way
It is clear to me that Will is very protective of his family. Most men will abandon ship after experiencing what Will had to go through with Jada. Not Will though. He stayed and found a way to rationalize his new situation. He released a memoir, “Will“, to talk all about it. Point is, Will loves to protect his family and will endure whatever he has to in order to do that (not a joke though). In his speech, he alluded to his actions as being out of love, in the name of protecting his family. In fact, he said God was calling him to protect others. As he fumbled his way through his speech, I wondered if he even understood what he was saying. “Did he understand the implications of what he was saying?” I asked.
This was a guy suffering from his ego coupled with internal frustrations. Rather than realize that and try to come off from under it. He went on and on about love, protecting one’s family and divine call. At that point, I couldn’t believe that person I was looking at was Will Smith. I find this more interesting because while he was making a fool of himself by saying all of that, the person who was actually portraying his words was the one he had just given a dirty slap, Chris Rock. Chris kept his ego in check and showed great self-control by simply not causing a scene. Jesus said to turn the other cheek, in love. Who did that? Chris, not Will! Ego can be mistaken as love but it’s not. I sincerely hope Will sorts himself out, and quickly. Humility is always the way to go.
7) Professionalism pays
Chris Rock has been praised for being the perfect gentleman and staying absolutely professional. Being professional is very important because like we saw earlier, it can save you from making a bad situation worse. Can you imagine what would have happened if Chris jumped into the slapping game? Oh yes, it would have been a more memorable Oscars than it already is. While Will would have still been wrong, it would have been worse for Chris’ reputation. Instead, he’s become stronger and now would be considered a more reliable host of any show because of his professionalism. He made a joke out of the worst moment and his audience laughed at him when he was probably in pain. Deservingly, the internet has rallied behind him.